Kitty Cuddles

Sometimes things just don't go as planned. For instance, today I was going to "start" the April Photo a Day Challenge, albeit with a few changes to suit the special things happening in our household in April. However, by early afternoon I was laying in bed, feeling drained, physically, mentally, emotionally. That feeling of all the colour and hope being drained from the world, just laying there empty in my own cloud of darkness while my daughter and husband went about their daily business. When my husband asked what was wrong and I couldn't tell him as the tears rolled down my face, because days like this, I don't even know what is wrong, it just is.

I had already had a plan for my photograph, I've been thinking about it for days, but I was procrastinating against taking it, partially because my husband was still home, I thought I'd wait for him to go to work so I could take it without feeling embarrassed or insecure. Regardless of how encouraging he has been for me with this project, I still can't shake the feeling of embarrassment for pulling out my camera and taking what must seem like random shots to everyone else who doesn't understand what's going on inside my head. To be honest, I'm really worried about when my parents come back from their holiday and trying to force myself to take a photo every day when they may see, ending in being ridiculed for what I am doing.

Once I was sprawled on the bed though, part of my head was already wondering if the photo was getting done, or if I was just going to let the darkness wash me away from the day and use that as my excuse, ruin this whole project by missing a day after only my first week, becoming a failure already. After my husband had left for work though, my daughter climbed into bed with me for some cuddles, as did her cat, Mia, who curled up, sleeping at the foot of the bed. My daughter asked for the camera so she could take some photos of Mia. After taking a bunch she asked me to take some of her cuddling the cat. Amoung those shots I managed to get this beautiful photo of the two of them together, so peaceful and calm.

While it wasn't my photo plan for the day, and I've strayed yet again from the challenge prompts. I think that these unplanned photos of things that actually happen throughout the day are probably better than anything I could have planned anyways.