Snails are the Future!

A bit of a random post today. My brain is feeling exhausted, I just want to lay down and I really didn't feel like taking a photo or making a blog post. But it has been 2 days so I forced myself to do something. Of course, this is made slightly harder as I write this as my daughter is reading it out over my shoulder, I have to admit, it is hard to think and type with pregnant-brain and hearing it narrated out to you as you type it.

My photo today is of a little crochet snail that I just finished. All of my hours spent laying in bed looking at stuff on my phone I come across a heap of really cute crochet things but I've never crochet before in my life. My maternal grandmother taught me how to knit as a child but I've mostly forgotten how, although a few years ago when I picked up some needles I did managed to knit some very messy, small things before giving up. A crochet needle however is something I had never touched before this year, when I was suffering morning sickness so badly I couldn't get out of bed I tried to crochet a little turtle, I have about 30 stitches complete on it at the moment, and it has been sitting in my drawer untouched since. Last week however I decided to try again with this snail, messy, yes, miscounts and managing to do stitches the wrong way around led to a bit of a disastrous first attempt to be honest. But as hubby reminded me, I'm only learning, its okay to not be great when I first start at something, and I wont give up so hopefully I'll get better with practice. Maybe by the 20th snail it might come out okay!

Why snails though? We have an Australian version of Game Of Life that is probably the board game we play the most often around here these days. One of the cards that it seems like I always get is the 'Snails are the Future' card, and the saying has kind of stuck. Because of it snails tend to come up in our every day conversations far often than you would think. In fact, the first bibs we brought for Emerson had a snail pattern because of it. And this little snail I am hoping will make its way into a newborn photoshoot, and maybe some older ones too. I have posed him on one of my baby posing rugs next to my melon plushie that my daughter brought me for mothers day last year, melons are kind of an important thing in my family too, my daughters favourite night-time plushie is also a melon that she hugs every night.

In less fun news, I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes yesterday. Which has just thrown a little bit of a spanner into the works of things and is making my life just that little bit harder than it already was at the moment. Could go to explaining why I am needing so many bathroom breaks though, and also exasperating the exhaustion on top of the depression, antidepressants and being pregnant alone. Funny isn't it, how so many of these things have the same symptoms so they just add up more and more. Already getting sick of pricking my finger with the lancet, especially when I mess up and have to do it multiple times per sitting to get it right. I'm sure I will get used to it though. Only another 16 weeks left of it right, at least I have that to be thankful for and hopefully after the birth it will be all better and I wont have to do it again.

As far as the depression is concerned. I have been feeling quite grey for a few days now, maybe a week. I am not really sure. I just know I've been trying to get through a day at a time and I can feel the stress and anxiety starting to build up again like they used to. Things that had been eating away at me before I started on the antidepressants which kind of just mellowed out afterwards have started to creep back in. But the days have still been mostly just grey and not black though, so I am staying on top of it for now. I have my next psychiatrist appointment in 5 days, which I am mostly dreading more than anything else. Unfortunate that my appointment is on my daughters birthday, thankfully while she is at school, but I'm going to be left mentally exhausted and shaken which is not the state I'd like to be to show my daughter a great day.